5 Comments on Top Ten Reasons Why Sharia is bad for All Societies
Let’s address the critical problems to the audience in the article Top ten reasons why sharia is bad for all societies , points #9, #3, and #1.
5.1 #9. Islam allows husbands to hit their wives even if the husbands merely fear highhandedness in their wives
The main point driven is Islam is a backward systems as it is abusive to women. Had this been the case, the screams of 600 Million women would have overwhelmed the ears of the world population, which has not been heard of. To support his point, the author cites a modern time domestic abuse case in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and tracks abuse back to life of some women at the time of Mohammad. Concluding that this should not be a surprise as Mohammad himself hit his “girl-bride”, and Quran allows beating women.
This section is titled in such a way to imply the marital relationship is based on suspicion, and takes the extremities in relationship and highlights them as the de facto standard of marriage in Islam. In response, the foundation of martial relationship in Islam is outlined, followed by a point-by-point comment on the given examples to indicate that due research on part of the author has not been thoroughly performed, puts the beating issue into its proper scope as it is not as seen on TV in some countries, nor sadistic as in others.
5.1.1 Foundation of Spousal Relationship in Islam
Marriage in Islam is broad subject to cover. Relevant bullet points from the sources of Islamic teachings, the Quran and teachings of Prophet Mohammad are listed below, as well as some examples of Mohammad’s practice with his spouses.
5.1.1.1 Quran’s Message
Quran addresses aspects of relationship between man and woman as partners in life for a common purpose and goal; complementing one another in stewardship of earth. It explains, at a framework level, the rights and duties of partners as equal with man one degree above as responsible for spending on the family and out of his characteristics. It indicates the obligation of dowry, touches on the consummation of intimate relation as the example of planting¸ duty during labor, nursing, child care, spending, conflict resolution, divorce, death and inheritance . The details of relationship and application were explained through the teaching and practice of Mohammad.
Here is what Quran says:
1. Pairs is a fundamental structure of the universe, and a signs of God for people to remember
a. Everything is created from pairs (51:49)
b. All pairs are created from what grows in earth, ourselves, and others we don’t know of (36:36)
c. Mankind created from a male and a female (49:13)
d. Mankind was created from one soul and out of it its mate, and from both men and women in large numbers (4:1)
2. Marriage, a signs of God for people who think
a. Heavy covenant
b. A relationship tranquility, abode for rest, love, and mercy (30:21)
c. Husband and wife are garments to each other (2:187)
d. Source for progeny to inherit the land; from ourselves mates, and from our spouses children and grandchildren (16:104)
e. The life style of messengers from before Mohammad (13:38)
f. A means to overcome poverty (24:32)
5.1.1.2 Mohammad’s Teachings
Prophet Mohammad taught that:
1. Righteous Woman
a. Defined as the beautiful, obedient, caring, trustworthy
b. A treasure to have is a believing woman (spouse) to help one in his faith
c. One of the best to have in life
d. The best provision in life
e. The best to benefit from after being God conscious
f. The first cause of happiness in this life
g. They provide half of the support to perform one duty to God
h. Sister of or woman and man complement one another; each is half
i. He always commanded taking care of women and be gentle with them. He emphasized that and was one of the main points in his last sermon during his pilgrimage in Mecca
2. Marriage
a. One of four traits of messengers
b. One seeking marriage to be chaste will be supported by God is
c. Balance between material life and spiritual life. He prayed at night and sleeps at night, he fasted days and didn’t fast others. He married and consummate relation with his wives, and didn’t isolate himself from the world
5.1.1.3 Mohammad’s Practice
Prophet Mohammad indicated that the best of the believers in faith is the best in character, and the best is the best to his spouse(s). In application, his spouses indicated that he was fair in evenly dividing his time amongst them, providing and spending on them, socializing and accompanying them in his travel, consulting with them, helping with home chores, and treating them kindly. Here are some examples ,
1. Aisha (referenced by the author as Mohammad’s girl-bride) reported that when she feels thirsty, Mohammad brings her to drink until she quenches her thirst. When she is done, he puts his lips to where her lips were, and drinks the rest.
2. Aisha communicated that in one of his travel, while the caravan stopped for rest, Mohammad raced her, as they did before when she was younger. She won before, but this day he won, as she had gained weight—he said to her: “this for that!”
3. His wife Safia, was short. It was difficult for her to ride without a help. Prophet Mohammad would kneel down so that she may step on his leg to ride the camel.
4. He used to visit the houses of all of his wives every day to see their needs, and get close to them without consummating the relationship.
5. He took the consultation of his wife, Um Salama, when he and his companions were unable to proceed to Mecca to complete the rights of pilgrimage (Hajj), because of an agreement between the Meccans and Mohammad to postpone the pilgrimage to the following year. To end the right, the sacrifice has to be slaughtered, hair has to be trimmed, and those who have been fasting would break their fast. When Mohammad commanded his companion to do so, they stood still. He went to his wife consulting her “the people have perished”—for not acting to his command. She advised him to go outside and perform what needs to be done. He did, and the rest followed.
The above are snapshots to indicate that the relationship is not skin deep as portrayed by the author. It is built upon love, respect, and genuine partnership. If Muslims conduct is not projecting that, it is their error.
5.1.2 Point by Point Response
5.1.2.1 A Woman Beaten by Her Husband in Saudi Arabia
In 2004, Rania al—Baz, who had been beaten by her husband, made her ordeal public to raise awareness about violence suffered by women in the home in Saudi Arabia.
The author cited an incident of domestic abuse in Saudi Arabia where the husband bruised his wife’s face. But he failed to report that “Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.” It is a global problem as reported by Domestic Violence Statistics, not an issue of Sharia.
Domestic abuse is a character deficiency in the husband towards his wife. It is exist in all societies, out of ignorance and poor upbringing. That doesn’t mean it is allowed, or the practice condoned by any society. By now the reader knows what Mohammad already taught and lived. If followed, it would have routed out the issue many women worldwide are suffering from. But will only avail with people who have faith in the accountability before God, but most people are headless or don’t know. The conduct of man depicted in this case is in violation to Sharia.
5.1.2.2 Muhammad Hitting His Girl—Bride
“This hadith shows Muhammad hitting his girl—bride, Aisha, daughter of Abu Bakr: Muslim no. 2127: ‘He [Muhammad] struck me [Aisha] on the chest which caused me pain.’ “
Here, the author adds a spin to the words that a man in his fifties is marrying a girl (i.e. a child), and hitting her (full stop). This opens other subjects to learn about, in another posting, Mohammad’s description that made him unique to others, and his marriages.
Aisha when married was at the age of marriage and was not a girl-bride. Birth records were not established in predominantly illiterate society. Birth was marked by events accompanying it. Therefore, the judgment here is based on the eligibility of a person to take responsibility. On the other hand, maturity in young women has a broad spectrum that anyone can observe in our middle and high school girls. Teenage girls in the US are OK to have one boyfriend after another with no responsibility or commitment. If some lose their chastity or become pregnant, it’s the norm or a mistake to solve and life goes on.
Back to the quoted text, how can we reconcile with a sentence clipped from a three-quarter of a page-long narrative referenced by report no. 2127 in the book compiled my Imam Muslim? The answer is to read the whole report along with the different narration, understand the context, reference the Arabic words to clarify ambiguities or miss translation, examine the Prophet’s relationship with his spouses from other reports, then make an informed decision.
Out of her own accord, Aisha initiated the conversation to inform about her life with the Prophet. She said when it was her turn for the prophet to be at her home, it was his custom towards the end of the night to visit the grave yards and pray for the deceased. That was the essence of the message. She went to explain how this came about. At one of those nights, when Mohammad thought she had slept, he left the bed and walked quietly to not disturb her. She walked behind him to know where he is going. He went to the grave yard, and she heard his prayers for the deceased. Then when Mohammad started to turn back home, she turned ahead of him trying to avoid he would notice her. She hastened as he hastened, and ran as he ran till she ended at home first, but was out of breath. Mohammad exclaimed that a sleeping person would be running out of breath. He called her nick name to know what’s wrong. She said “nothing.” He said, either you tell me or the All subtle, the All Expert will tell me. She said “May my father and mother be ransom for you,” then told him the whole story. He said “Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me?” She replied “Yes.” Then he thrust (not hit) her on the chest which caused her pain. He said “Do you think that God and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?” Mohammad explained to her that Angel Gabriel came to him the last hour of night, but did not enter the house since she was not fully covered. He told him that God commands you to go pray for the deceased in the grave yard. That is why he had to leave at that time.
Reflecting back on this report, are these the world of woman complaining from her husband, or a wife that really loves her husband and jealous that he leaves her for another spouse. Is she telling a story of a man whose walks with God, fair with all his spouses, cares that they to expose themselves to danger, going out in the middle of the night in desert without protection or permission?
Language wise, the word referred to as hitting could assume several meanings. The most appropriate in this case is thrust/push for a simple reason his companions said about him. Mohammad never ever hit anyone—neither a man nor a woman, nor a servant—except in battles. If she felt pain, on what scale was it? Women are week by nature, the push is on a weaker area than others, and she was running out of breath. If it was abuse, she would have complained to her parents, and request divorce which never happened. She felt his hand, good enough to remember to have trust in his fairness, and not to endanger herself by leaving home at a late hour at night. Remember also, the Prophet caring/jealousy on his wife to go outside in the middle of the night alone without telling him. If the whereabouts of where the wife is makes no difference to some husbands nowadays, it should not be a shortcoming in Mohammad.
5.1.2.3 Muslim Women in the time of Muhammad Were Suffering from Domestic Violence
The hadith says that Muslim women in the time of Muhammad were suffering from domestic violence in the context of confusing marriage laws:
Rifa’a divorced his wife whereupon ‘AbdurRahman bin Az—Zubair Al—Qurazi married her. ‘Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah’s Apostle came, ‘Aisha said, “I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!” (Bukhari)
Going back to the full report and understand the story, the woman was divorced several times by her first husband. Thus, according to Sharia, she could not remarry him until she marries a different person, consummate the relationship (feel the bond with one another), and then divorce him to be eligible for remarrying the first one. This ruling in marriage law is for divorce to not become a joke and an easy word to invoke if spouses run into heated discussions.
The woman is “filing” a complaint that her second husband is impotent, to get divorce. Apparently, the woman didn’t let her new husband consummate the relationship. This way she would hit two birds with one stone; being able to remarry her first husband without the second one touching her. She was lying, as the second husband brought two of his sons from another spouse to prove that he is potent.
Definitely, there should have been push and pull between the woman and her second husband at his urge of consummating the relationship that might have caused a green spot on her skin. I don’t have the Arabic text to see if she accused him of beating her, or if that word was an addition of the translator. If the second husband made a mistake, he is a mortal, and his actions are not laws. Therefore, we should not judge Sharia according to the man’s conduct. From a legal perspective, the saying of the plaintiff—the woman in this case—can’t not be taken in dispute; it is only the saying of just witnesses. She was playing with laws. Does this justify judging Sharia for the wrong doings of people.
5.1.2.4 If You Fear Highhandedness from Your Wives
4:34 . . . If you fear highhandedness from your wives, remind them [of the teaching of God], then ignore them when you go to bed, then hit them. If they obey you, you have no right to act against them. God is most high and great. (MAS Abdel Haleem, the Qur’an, Oxford UP, 2004)
Quran 4:34-35 touch on some aspects of relation and conflict resolution between spouses. For social justice, Sharia stipulates that rights and duties should be equivalent. For the rights one has, equal duties are installed. Women have equal rights as duties, of the well-known common good (2:228). It is man’s responsibility of supporting the house, and the wife be devout to her husband in presence and absence. Husband has one more right over, that is the right for his wife to follow his commands; in return she has the right of a fair and a good treatment.
Then the verses addresses an exception; the case of a “Nashez” recalcitrant woman (the case of recalcitrant husband is addressed in another verse.) Language wise, “if you fear highhandedness” is not appropriate translation. The more accurate is “As of those you know are protruding…” So it describes a situation based on awareness of an abnormal behavior. She is a spouse who is rising over, eluding, hating and discordant with her husband. There are four stages in rectifying such personality 1) admonition between both parties; 2) staying away from bed in order she may feel the bond with her husband is severed; 3) if she doesn’t “feel”, the escalation is love beating; 4) lastly, judges from both sides, if they want reconciliation. Parallel to this process, are the rights of a woman when she filing a claim if her husband is “Nashez”; a person who is also abusive to his wife. The judge will go same procedure; however, the beating penalty for the man by the judge is a real punishment.
Love beating is scoped as not chastising, not causing pain nor braking bones, not bruising, neither on the face nor on sensitive areas, and with no signs left. The tool is a tooth brush stick like a pencil in thickness, and not more than hand length to be held at half length, i.e., 2 inches exposed. It is an emotional punishment, not to diminish here, rather to awaken here feeling. If nothing avails, then divorce is the last resort.